forgive AND forget

I recently learned about forgiveness.  It's a mitzvah to forgive someone for something he/she did to you when they come to you and apologize. It's an even greater level to forgive someone when he/she did not even come to you to ask for forgiveness.

I left the shiur with a mission: to forgive someone I've held a grudge against for nearly four years.  Even though I thought I had forgiven her for what she did and how she acted towards me, I did not forget.  And in Yiddishkeit, it's not ok to just forgive but one needs to forget also. Because if you still remember, then it means you still hold a grudge. So I decided to honestly and completely and wholeheartedly forgive and forget the incident. Because I can truly see how though this person may have wronged me, she actually did me the biggest favor because I ended up where I did and it was all yad Hashem- truly.  (though i did not realize that at the time, of course)

I feel like a burden is now lifted off my heart. 

And I know that when I see her next week (and I know I will for sure), that I can go over to her and hug her and honestly ask how she's doing, and forget the past, because the future is so much more important.

When i think of her now, all i can do is smile. It's a funny thing, mechila (forgiveness). Totally changes everything upside and right side up.

You want my... honey??

no, silly! they wanted my blood! 

recently i donated blood for the first time! the first time i willingly gave blood was in high school when i was tested for Dor Yesharim. when i heard there was going to be a blood drive i was kinda nervous about donating. im not squeamish with blood but the thought of someone sticking me with a needle and taking a pint (!) of blood out of me really made me nervous. in the end, thanks to (the good kind of) peer pressure, i decided to give blood. 

B"H i was totally fine, though i actually saw my friend faint in front of my eyes! (but that's a different story) it took about fifteen minutes, maybe less, and then it was all over. and i feel so great about giving the gift of life! you know, they say 60% of people in my region are eligible to give blood and only 2% do. every 2 seconds someone else in the world needs blood. it's a major thing to be able to give. so if you're eligible... do it! you'll feel so great afterwards (okay... maybe two hours later, after the weakness and lightheadedness has gone away :)

one of the girls i was with said something really amazing that got me thinking. she said that we're at an age now where we will do something to willingly hurt ourselves because we know something good will come out of it. think about it...

when i was younger like 10 years old, no way would i allow myself to get hurt if i had the choice. why have to suffer willingly? but now, as a 20-year-old, i understand that it may hurt for a second or maybe for 15 minutes will im being pinched with a needle stuck in my vein drawing out my blood, but afterwards i'll be ok and i'll be able to save someone's life. 

it's a really amazing idea if you think about it. the more i think about the concept of taking my blood to give to someone else, the more amazing i realize it is. my blood going into someone else's body is pretty cool. and the whole thing about different blood types is cool too. i can't wait to find out what type i am! lol

fyi here are some facts about giving blood:

1. one pint of blood can save up to three lives

2. the average adult body contains 10 pints of blood

3. 500,000 Americans donated blood in the days following September 11th, 2001 

4. A newborn baby has about one cup of blood in his body

5. there is no substitute for human blood.

JUST DO IT!