It's all in the details :)

well i just want to start off by saying that im so glad i did decide to go to israel because it was the best trip ever! i feel like i needed it to "recharge" my batteries and to give myself an uplift in ruchniyus. in america everyone is so into the gashmiyus and then you go to israel and you see people living in tiny apartments and focusing on learning torah and doing mitzvos and living on the minimum. it makes you realize what's really important. though, of course we still went out to eat and bought presents while we were there, but it's just a good reminder of what's important in life. like i feel like now i could really live in israel (for a little bit) when i get married IY"H. 

but newayz now for the details... :)

ten days is soooo short! i could have stayed for much longer, and i have stayed longer in the past, but this was what i could do for now and i start school on monday so i had to come back. i was totally not bored at all; we had so much to do. i visited my sister in sem, went to the kotel a lot, got brachos from rabanim/rebbetzins, visited relatives and friends, went out to eat, did some touring and A LOT OF DAVENING! it really was a very spiritual vacation. and it helps that i went with a friend who is sooo growth-oriented and really made sure we did a lot of ruchniyus-dikke things. it was truly amazing!! it was so gr8 to be back and to see teachers from seminary and visit the girls now in sem and see relatives and friends i haven't seen in a year. i came back on a high. it was great! it's good to be home but i wish i was back in israel, for real!

the last day i was in israel i went to a teacher from sem for lunch at his home. it was him, his wife, his daughter, me and my sister. it was really nice. we started talking about some things in hashkafa. i mentioned that i find some things to be so much easier for me in eretz yisrael than in america. he said something interesting- that in america, the boundaries are so much clearer. this is assur and this is mutar. that is for the goyim and this for jews. but in israel, because it's israel, people see things on the street going on and its less clear (for us simple jews) whats mutar and assur. it's easy to assume that everything in israel is holy and ruchniyus. but that's definitely NOT the case. and it gets worse and worse each year. what goes on in "town" and some areas is disgusting! really. i saw things with my own eyes. its gross. but on the other hand there's tons of kedusha. it's "zeh l'umas zeh"- the more kedusha there is, the more tumah there is as well.  it's really unfortunate but it's reality.

one more thing that was a wake-up for me... i was reminded by a great person while i was there how important it is to be "metzapeh l'yeshuah", to wait for and look forward to Moshiach's arrival every day. when a person goes to shamayim after 120 he will be asked a series of questions, one of which will be: "Did you anticipate Moshiach every day?" it's so important. we in chutz l'aretz don't always remember it. but for some people, it's something they think about every day. and it's so important. i want to try to remember that everyday. of course i say ani maamin during davening, but do i really look forward to moshiach? everyday? do i really want the geulah?? do you?