Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I hate vorts!

I absolutely, positively, unequivocally dislike vorts (engagement parties)!
You get all dressed up to go to the kallah's house or a hall where you stand and shmooze with random people for all of half an hour (tops) and then go home. I always feel like i should go out afterwards because im all dressed up anyway :) Vorts are just uncomfortable because you can have these two-minute conversations with people you never see (and won't see until the next vort or wedding) that consist of something like this: (here's the one-sided version)
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, Baruch Hashem"
"So what are you up to now?"
"Do you like it?"
"Oh, that's great."
"Uh huh"
"Good luck!"
"See you at more simchas! Iy"H by you!!"
These conversations are sooooo stupid! Most of the time you're not even listening to the other person's answers because their response is so predictable.
Then you go over to the kallah to say mazel tov. She gives you a kiss, says "thank you" to the mazel tov, says "thank you" to the "you look so pretty," and maybe points out her chosson. (If you're close to the kallah then this doesn't really happen. what does happen is some screaming and hugging and "I can't believe it"s from both of you.)
Before you leave you survey the room to see if there's anyone else you should say hi to, and then leave.
It's always best to go to a vort with someone, in my case, I like to go with a friend who wants to get out of there as fast as i do. if i go with my mother she'll introduce me to everyone she knows (usually a lot of people!) and ask them if they know any boys for me, while i stand there and smile (uch!)
i'd much rather go out on a date!


Something Different said...

You can't hate them as much as I do. Seriously. I only go when I really can't help it, and I don't plan on having one when I get engaged.
I can't compare it to a date yet but....... ugh. What a dismal choice!

Child Ish Behavior said...

Ugh. You completely missed the point. Free Food. I was at this vort this past motzoai shabbos, there was a whole lot of food. Though you do have a point, if you are going to get dressed up all nice, you probably don't want to worry about getting it all dirty.

tembow said...

Many girls (I can't say 'most' because i can't talk for everyone but for sure many) do NOT eat at vorts!
CIB- you can totally tell youre a guy from that comment!! lol

EsPes said...

hahah totally agree with childish! i always go for the food!!!
but i dont mind vorts really- cuz i love when ppl get engaged so vorts make me happy :-)

tembow said...

ok espes you're an exception, lol :)

SD- im sure if it's your vort, it's different- all the people are coming for you! (or your chosson)

Maidel said...

never go alone! always have someone just as uninterested as you to hang on to!

Something Different said...

Yeah, CIB- girls don't TOUCH the food at vorts. That's why they put the real food on the men's side and the fancy stuff that looks like food on the lady's side.

I don't want to put people thru the torture when it is my turn.

nmf #7 said...

Very true about only putting the actual food on the guys' side...
Although, I always found the best way to show up at a vort would be for around 15 minutes very late into the game. Then, I would show my face, wish everyone Mazel Tov, and leave if there is nothing to do.

EsPes said...

"girls don't TOUCH the food at vorts. That's why they put the real food on the men's side and the fancy stuff that looks like food on the lady's side."

thats another awesome thing about living out of town!!! all the girls eat whatever they want, and the better food is usually on the womens side!!!

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

yea, I know what you mean, I don't like going to vorts either. It's exactly the way you described it. There was only maybe one vort that I went to that was pleasant.

See by me when everyone asks the question "what are you up to?" I always have the same answer, that I'm in college, and I enjoy it, cause I like answering that, cause its something different. Nobody else in my grade did what I did, so I get to feel unique.

About the food, one time I went to a kiddish in someones house after they had a baby. Usually at Shabbos kidush's there's real food! I was surprised to see they had fancy cakes and cookies for the woman, and some salads. But no food, that was disappointing.

Last night I had a girl in my classe's wedding and I didn't go, I'm not sure if I should feel guilty or not.

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