surprise me!

what is it about surprises? some people love 'em and some people hate 'em.

a few friends and i surprised a friend today. it's almost her birthday and we decided to make her a party. so we planned something with her mother and we went over to her house at the planned time. guess what- she was sleeping!!! her sister went down to wake her up and she didnt want to get up! so we had to do what all good friends would do... wake her up! we went downstairs and came into her room singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY! boy, was she surprised! and she was like laughing and rubbing her eyes and totally not expecting it! it was so cute. but she wasnt upset at us for waking her up cuz it was worth it.

it was really nice just to shmooze (and eat and eat and eat)

reminds me of the surprise party we made for parents last year. their anniversary is in the summer so me and my siblings planned a surprise party for them on shabbos, cuz their anniversary came out on shabbos. i baked a lot and bought a lot of fruit. my mother didnt suspect anything. we invited a bunch of their friends and neighbors and set up dessert on our deck in the backyard. my parents had no clue! my brother sat on the front porch to tell all the guests to go around back. when it was time for dessert and all the guests were there, we told my parents to go out back, and then everyone yelled "surprise!" it was so nice cuz they were soooo surprised.. they had no idea we were planning anything! it was fun! here's a pic of the cake i made:

so any ideas on the whole psychology behind surprises?

Ash on your face... a big disgrace

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday.

I was walking in NYC, getting myself a coffee, when i noticed many people with black stuff on their foreheads. Had i not been in the subway last year on ash wednesday and noticed it and found out about it, then i would not have known. but i knew it was because of a christian holiday.

i just googled 'ash wednesday' and found out that christians put a cross made from ash on their foreheads as a sign of repentence, as it is the beginning of Lent, 40 days before easter. now, you may ask why am i telling you all this nonsense? it is because, as a teacher once to me, the christians and muslims have taken everything from the jews. in class we were discussing yerushalayim and what we do nowadays to remember yerushalayim. 

1. if one builds a new house, leave a square part of wall unfinished

2. under chupah chosson breaks glass

3. some have the custom also under the chupa or before the chupah to put ash on the forehead of the chosson (and then to wipe it off) as a sign of aveilus for yerushalayim (just like on tisha b'av we eat the egg and ashes, etc). the christians' custom of ash wednesday actually comes from our remembrance of yerushalayim! along with all the other things they stole from us and use in their own distorted ways. 

i just thought that was interesting. what was also interesting was seeing all these people with black smudgy stuff on their foreheads. i bet they are all self-conscious about it and wipe it off as soon as they can :)

Advice

First, i would like to express my thanks to frum college girl for turning me on to blogging. i found her blog, started reading, and haven't stopped... and started my own blog- all thanks to her! so thank you fcg!

Second, my blog started with my first post, rightfully named "First Post". i needed advice about my dating situation so i decided to turn to readers in the blogosphere to get some help. though i received little help and a lot of criticism (it's okay- im totally over it!!), i would like to ask advice on a present situation...

today i was talking to someone i work with. she works from home so i only get to see her on rare occasions when she comes into the office. i was talking to her today via IM and this is how the conversation went:

tembow: hi!

her: hi!!! how are you?

tembow: tired but otherwise great! u?

her: great!

tembow: that's good

btw when are you due?

her: ask A (another girl i work with) that question. she'll answer you

tembow: why?

her: she'll know

tembow: ok

gnite

her: gnite!!!

ok so i knew something was up! but then i got an email when i got home from work, from A.- the other girl i work with. this is what her email said:

hey tembow...

i meant to tell you but i think you were away when it happened.

but B. is no longer pregnant... she had a miscarriage :(

it's really sad because she was like 5 months along and it was a major deal... she was out for 2 weeks (pretty much the whole time you were away) 

i feel really bad that i never mentioned it to you... and i hope that i didn't put you in any type of uncomfortable position.

B. just asked me to tell you because she has trouble talking about it...

I FEEL SOOOO BAD! i had no clue and i just "randomly" asked her, i don't know why. it happened while i was in israel so i guess nobody thought to tell me or forgot.

do you think i should apologize or just pretend that it never happened??

A Wedding Story

B"H this week i've been to a fair share of weddings (and it's only Tuesday!) they've all been really nice and really different. now i can't really go into details but i want to discuss a few things:

1- why do people standing in the back at chupas feel the need to talk? come on- it's half an hour of your time! just be quiet! i think it totally disrupts the aura and atmosphere of the chupa when you have tons of people talking. it's almost like they think no one can hear them :)

2- the real reason why people should go to weddings is for the mitzvah of being mesame'ach chassan v'kallah, not for "showing yourself off" to prospective mothers-in-law or for catching up with old friends. you're really supposed to go for the kallah (in a girl's case). usually i don't really feel like im fulfilling this mitzvah cuz there are tons of people there and i dance with the kallah for maybe 20 seconds. but on a rare occasion, such as a wedding i attended recently, i truly felt like i was really fulfilling the mitzvah. every person counted, each girl who came. and it was amazing to see everyone come for that reason!

3- ever been "snobbed out"? (when i told a friend what happened to me she hadn't heard this term used before.. did i make it up??) at a wedding, i went over to a friend i hadn't seen in a month or two and said hello and she totally ignored and barely looked in my direction. and i know she heard me because i sat down NEXT to her! i was totally insulted and didn't talk to her the rest of the night, and of course she didn't say anything to me. now i know im supposed to be dan l'kaf zechus, but in this case it's too hard :( 

4- i don't need to even mention this because it's such a cliche already but i'll just say.... black black black black -with little exception (v'hamayvin yavin :)

all in all, beautiful weddings and nice to see friends and get my exercise of the day dancing the night away!

You gotta check this out! it's brilliant

i've been meaning to put up a new post but until i actually get it up, here' s a pic to keep you entertained!!

We've got guests!

Reading NMF#7's Israel Chronicles got me thinking a little...

I really look up to my parents a lot! they're such amazing people B"H and some things they do are just amazing.

I came home from work today and there was this single woman from israel, probably in her 30s, eating supper at my kitchen table.  i had NO CLUE who she was and asked my mother a little later who she is. my mother told me that she's just someone who needed a place to stay for a few days or a few weeks or a few months and she's going to be staying with us! 

now my first reaction (not out loud) was: what? this woman is staying with us? why us? we don't know her.. for how long? etc etc. But after thinking about it for a little bit i've realized that this is not the first time this has happened and it won't be the last i'yH and this is a really great opportunity of chessed and hachnosas orchim! we've had a lot of different types of people stay by us over the years. whether it be foster children, or a spanish giyores for Pesach, or two kids in need of a home for winter vacation, my parents have opened up their/our home for them! and its something i really look up to them for, because i don't know if i could do that time and time again like they have. it really is something i would love to be able to say in one second when offered: "yeah! i would love to have you stay here!" with enthusiasm and love. but i don't think im at that stage yet. tho it's something im striving for... to open to all diff types of people, all the time. iy"H one day i''ll get there. 

but right now im really looking forward to getting to know our new guest and seeing what i can learn from the experience.

diet motivation

my friend came up with the idea that we should have a competition, sort of like Biggest Loser, to see who can lose the most weight.

we set the rules as such: we have until pesach (about 5 weeks) to lose the pounds to get to our goal weights. whoever loses, has to take the other person out to dinner. [i know... eating after losing the weight... lol... but that's what we decided] each sunday morning we have to weigh ourselves and call the other person and tell them what we're up to.

i would like to lose ten pounds and she'd also like to lose ten pounds (except her weight is from having her baby and mine is just FAAAAAAAAAAAT :(

problem is... MOTIVATION

hopefully this contest will get me motivated enough to stick with it. im very competitive by nature so i hope this will work

so far today was great! i was really good and watched what i ate :) but it is only DAY #1 lol

we'll take it day by day

do i have any supporters out there in the blogosphere??

lazy sunday? nah

you know those mornings when you wake up and you think you have nothing planned, and then everything just falls into place and you have a jam-packed day?? well, that was my day! and it was great! like i've said before, i love busy sundays!! today was one such day...

between going out with a "little sister", going to the mall with a friend and her adorable baby, going to the AJOP convention and listening to some speakers, today was one crazy, amazing day (it's really cool how those two adjectives go so well together lol :)

hope you all had such a great day as i had! and like one of the speakers tonite said, "may you all have A LOT of worries!" (if you're a little confused at that- and you have the right to be- check out the AJOP convention speeches from tonite which will be on torahanytime.com sometime soon)

wake up and smell the coffee :)

I had an interesting experience today...

A girl in my class at school has 

never

had a

cup

of

coffee

before

in her

life!!

So me and another girl decided to take her to Starbucks (my favorite!!)

She was nervous- she's so cute- and when she took the first sip it took her time to get used to it. after a few sips, she liked it a little more but it was too much of a coffee taste for her and she couldn't drink the whole thing. and she said she felt tipsy from the caffeine (she never drinks soda either- can you imagine??) but it was a fun experience.

i've read some things people have written on their blogs about coffee, like how some people just don't like it but i had never heard of someone who hadn't ever tried it! that's new to me, as i've been drinking coffee ever since my father let me have some of his, when i was younger (and yet, i still grew!! despite all my mother said about coffee stunting my growth :)

im a big coffee person, not because im addicted or anything. im not. i don't get withdrawal on fast days B"H. i love the taste and the caffeine is good too. but i drink decaf too. the caffeine doesn't really affect me that much. if i drink a lot, then yeah, it does. but not a regular size cup of coffee. my favorite starbucks drink is a "tall skinny vanilla latte with whipped cream"!! YUMMY!

Do you like coffee? Does it make you do anything crazy- shake, get hyper, high??

oh, and check out the new poll on the right!

would you go out with someone who has had a broken engagement? why or why not?

I hate vorts!

I absolutely, positively, unequivocally dislike vorts (engagement parties)!

You get all dressed up to go to the kallah's house or a hall where you stand and shmooze with random people for all of half an hour (tops) and then go home. I always feel like i should go out afterwards because im all dressed up anyway :) Vorts are just uncomfortable because you can have these two-minute conversations with people you never see (and won't see until the next vort or wedding) that consist of something like this: (here's the one-sided version)

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good, Baruch Hashem"

"So what are you up to now?"

"Do you like it?"

"Oh, that's great."

"Uh huh"

"Good luck!"

"See you at more simchas! Iy"H by you!!"

These conversations are sooooo stupid! Most of the time you're not even listening to the other person's answers because their response is so predictable.

Then you go over to the kallah to say mazel tov. She gives you a kiss, says "thank you" to the mazel tov, says "thank you" to the "you look so pretty," and maybe points out her chosson. (If you're close to the kallah then this doesn't really happen. what does happen is some screaming and hugging and "I can't believe it"s from both of you.)

Before you leave you survey the room to see if there's anyone else you should say hi to, and then leave.

It's always best to go to a vort with someone, in my case, I like to go with a friend who wants to get out of there as fast as i do. if i go with my mother she'll introduce me to everyone she knows (usually a lot of people!) and ask them if they know any boys for me, while i stand there and smile (uch!)

i'd much rather go out on a date!

Just a little more Tu B'Shvat inspiration...

I went to a shiur tonite and my teacher said something very interesting. she said that the four seasons correspond to different parts of the day:

fall=evening

winter=night

spring=dawn

summer=midday

Tu B'Shvat is at about 3:00 in the morning- neither day nor night.

My situation now (like many other bloggers and friends) is like Tu B'shvat- it's between childhood and adulthood. The lesson we should take from this is to be like the trees.. to wake up parts of us that are dormant. It's a good time to change! It's a good time to work on things.

Also another thing she said in the shiur is that this week's parsha is parshas yisro. A medrash says that the mann fell down from the sky together with jewels. The simple people only collected the mann to eat. The gedolim (great people) collected only the jewels. You would think it would be the opposite. What do the gedolim need the jewels for in the desert? Food is so much more important!? But the answer is that the gedolim weren't thinking about the "today." They were thinking how one day there would be a mishkan (tabernacle) and the jewels would be needed for that. The simple people only thought about what they needed at that very moment. Great people or leaders detect what is needed for the future - "haRoeh es haNolad" - see the future. They think about what will be needed; not necessary what is needed now. 

Tu B'Shvat Higiah

(remember the song... tu b'shvat higiah, chag la'ilanot...)

i got an email this morning from a NMF living in israel who told me how she was planning to have a tu b'shvat seder tonite with her husband and some friends. they were going to have 15 different fruits for the 15 shir hama'alos perakim of tehillim. i thought- such a nice idea. [the past few years, i've been in israel for tu b'shvat: last year i was at a chassidish tish where all the chassidim danced and sang as the new fruits were eaten by the rebbe. that was so nice! the year before last year, i went for shabbos (in sem) to a kiruv place where they were having a friday night dinner and tu b'shvat seder. that was so cool and enlightening because the people there were not-yet-religious and were asking me and my friend all kinds of questions about Judaism, etc.] so i decided where else to look for information about how to do a tu b'shvat seder than on the internet? so i put it into ask.com and arrived at this page.

i set up the table and everything and everyone in my family sat down to a tu b'shvat seder. it was really nice and really meaningful. (here's a pic)

you still have time.... until tomorrow night! so go for it!! :)

i don't know if you've heard or haven't heard about the passing of HaRav Noach Weinberg, ZATZAL, founder and Rosh Yeshiva of Aish HaTorah. I couldn't not post anything.

Rav Weinberg, there are so many people who owe everything to you because you returned them to their Jewish roots. You cared so much for every single Jew; you had such ahavas yisrael. Aish HaTorah will not be the same without you.

I have so much I owe to Rav Weinberg. Some reasons are personal but one I will share is that last winter when i went to Israel with some friends, i was privileged to take some classes in Aish Essentials in the Old City. It was an amazing experience. I was there with a few Bais Yaakov girls and there were not-yet-religious students there as well. I learned a lot and it was so interesting to hear what these students asked and thought about various topics. 

i was stunned to hear of the passing of Rav Weinberg today. he will really be missed. may he be a meilitz yosher for all of klal yisrael.

finally!

for the past few months my cell phone has been sick. it'll just shut off randomly or i'll get a message that comes up that says "insert SIM card" when i haven't taken it out at all. for months i've been saying i need to get a new phone. but the problem is... im in love with my cell phone! seriously, i resist change. almost all change. even good things like a new cell phone are hard. it takes me a while to get used to things but in the end i get used to it (so i just need to remember that i'll get used to it every time i need to change something or someone else changes something).

so anyway, finally i decided tonite is the night im going to the phone store. so i went. and i found a cool phone i like that's FREE!! so i decided to get it (and it's a cool green but that's besides the point :)

i was talking to the guy at the counter who was helping me and i told him how im so attached to my phone and i would totally keep it if only it wasn't broken. he didn't really understand that because here i am getting a new cool phone and i want my old flip phone back. but i told him i love it cuz i can text without looking cuz i know the keys so well, etc etc. im just comfortable with it. at the end, when he was giving me my new phone and the box with the charger in it, he hands me back my old phone and says, "in case you have separation anxiety." i laughed cuz it was so funny and true. but no, i will not go back to my old broken phone, though i do love it, because i've got this super cool phone to play around with now, and get used to. that'll take some time, but don't fear- just give me a week and i'll be over with the old one and completely in love with the new one! lol

my new phone is a Samsung Propel (you can check it out online). its got a full keyboard and it slides up- really cool! and i love the color (it's wayyyyy better than old boring black- besides, if im always wearing black it'll be a cool accessory, better than a color clutch :) 

im not a maniac text-er like that girl in the news who sent 14,000 texts in a month and set a record! i text pretty often, but not crazy. so it'll be interesting to text with a full keyboard instead of the nine keys at T9, if you know what i mean. 

just wanted to share the good news cuz im excited! though i lost some of my ringtones... :(

help wanted (needed?)

i need some help! i have a bunch of textbooks from college that i need to get rid of because im never going to use them again and they're just taking up space when they could be getting me money!!

i decided to do a search for the best online textbook buy-back site. so i conducted an experiment. i took the ISBN of one book i want to sell and i plugged it into a few web sites to see which site would give me the most money for my book. the results were that bookbyte.com would give me the most $ back for my book, but after doing some google searches for "bookbyte reviews" i decided that i should not use them. a teacher suggested using facultybooks.com, but they don't pay that well. i could use amazon to sell back my books but they only pay you when you have a buyer and that could be tomorrow or, well... never.

so im back to square one, with all my books still sitting on my shelf and no idea what to do with them. so if you've got any ideas for me, im up for anything at this point!