What's in a name?

i've been asked a bunch of times what my username means and where it originates from. so i feel compelled to enlighten those who want to know. here goes...

a while back i was bored in computer class and started playing games like "Out Of Order" and other fun stuff on a website called BoxerJam. eventually i made a username and somehow came up with "tembow." there's like this chat thing on the site that you can talk to the people you're playing the game with (not that i really did; it's pretty dangerous, if you know what i mean). and someone said that "tembow" means "elephant" in Swahili. (check this out: Swahili- tembow) so, i guess you learn something new every day, right?

the username just stuck and when i started commenting on blogs i used it and eventually made a blog. the end.

hope i didn't disappoint anybody. it's really not that exciting! LOL

but you guys can come up with some other more interesting meanings for "tembow" if you'd like. have fun!

ps. foreign languages are cool. anybody know any unusual ones?

my grandfather had a knack for languages. he spoke EIGHT! languages! i always forget which ones tho :)

freaky story

all things happen to you for a reason but sometimes it's a little bit harder to find the reason than other times.

take what happened to me yesterday.

i was waiting in line for my bus at the bus terminal yesterday, listening to my ipod when i see a man walking towards the outside door, from where all the buses are, not really where people usually come from. i didn't think anything of it until he comes close to the door coming into the terminal. i see his hands are covered in blood and he's got a gash on his face, still bleeding. he was an older white man, probably about 60.  mind you, there are about 25 people waiting in line and everyone's just in shock. they don't know what to do. the man has a hard time getting the door opened and someone finally opens it for him. he keeps walking past the line of people (everyone's just staring at him) until one guy asks, "are you alright, sir?" the man responds "yes" and continues walking. now i'm listening to my ipod and can't really hear that much (and i don't really want to usually) but a few minutes later i heard a yell and the lady standing next to me screams! apparently the man fell down the steps. the guy who had asked him if he was okay runs down to help him. a few minutes later, the man who had gone to help comes back and says that someone called 911 and there are people down there helping him.

i was so freaked out. the entire bus ride i couldn't get it out of my head. obviously there was something wrong with the guy or someone had really hurt him badly.

there must be a reason why i had to see such a thing. but its so freaky. and then i came home and heard what had happened to my friend's brother-in-law and all in all, it was just a crazy day.

There's a time for simcha and there's a time for sadness.

But what happens when the two are required on the very same night?

while getting ready to go to the wedding of a friend, i got the news that my friend's brother-in-law was tragically killed in a car accident. i was shocked. still am shocked. how is such a thing possible? the sweetest guy ever, always smiling, such a nice person with such fine middos. now gone. and it's so hard to think about his wife, whom i know, who must be falling apart on the news of this horrible tragedy.

then i had to go to the wedding. how can i go to a wedding and be happy when i know some people are in so much pain?? let me tell you- it was so hard. it took a while just to get into the simcha at the wedding because how can you go from one thing to the other?? it's almost inhuman.

what i hate most about all this is the helplessness. what can i do? i can be there for my friend but how can i really know and understand what she's going thru??

Zos Chanukah

I know that tonite/tomorrow is called "Zos Chanukah" (this is Chanukah). Why? And what does that mean practically for us? Should i be focusing on something special during the day? 

I heard once that Zos Chanukah is such an important day that Moshiach could come.

My question is why??

Diets

my father has a sign that he hung up next to his computer so that he sees it all the time as a motivation for his diet. this is what it says:

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

i love it! it's so true. after i eat something, even something that tastes really good, i'm always like: i should NOT have eaten that... it's so fattening... so not worth it... in a day i'll forget about it and that's so true! i really regret eating things after i've eaten them. i don't know if that's so good but i do.

i really pigged out this shabbos. it was disgusting. but its so hard to control myself. i always think, im going to exercise ANYWAY- i'll just burn off these calories. but that's such a bad attitude. 

when im following a diet, i can follow it completely, to the "T'', but when im just watching what i eat... it's so hard to really watch it. i end with the attitude that if i eat one thing i may as well eat 19 because i've already gone overboard and pigged out. 

i guess i should add to the blog description that this blog will also be about dieting, or rather- talking about dieting... not that i'll actually do it! lol :)

continued...

part 2 of the meme: 

1. my absolute favorite food is coffee ice cream.

2. i always wished i knew how to figure skate.

figure skaters always look so graceful and i've always admired them but i'm too scared to learn how to ice skate. i've fallen too many times and hurt too many parts of my body :) so i can always wish and imagine what it's like.. maybe... someday... :)

3. someone once told me i look like chelsea clinton.

i don't know if i should take that as a compliment or an insult. there are some ugly pictures of her out there from when she was young. but it's pretty rough growing up under the scrutiny of the media. i wouldn't really want to be "first kid."

4. i love whipped cream! 

put it on fruit, hot cocoa, coffee... you name it! or even just plain- squirt it straight into my mouth!! actually a few minutes ago my sis and i were doing that to each other. my mother walked into the kitchen just as i was squirting some into my sister's mouth. she wasn't too happy! thankfully she didn't mention the part it being "very fattening." i don't need any reminding.

5. if i could be any creature, i would be a fish or a dolphin.

i love the water! im big into swimming!

6. the most expensive thing i have ever bought for myself is my macbook. 

i love it! im a big mac-fan

7. i like going shopping by myself.

it's so much more relaxing. i usually get a lot more stuff.

pretty random, no? 

im not gonna tag anyone. if you want to do this too, pretend i tagged you :)p

you can link up to here.

i've been tagged!!

okay so i've been tagged by The Babysitter and it would be really mean not to respond plus i also think it's kinda cool and interesting... you guys get to learn some RANDOM stuff so why not? (check out The Babysitter's explanation of the meme)

book meme:

They veered off toward the philosophical and debated the 

necessary properties of bashert. They knew that they were 

all looking for their destined match. But were they required 

to believe that there was only one person out there for each 

of them?  The romantic and the fervent among them insisted 

that they were. God matched boys to girls before they were 

born. The more practical girls challenged this notion. What 

about people who died before they got married? Did that mean 

they never had a bashert, because of course God knew that they 

would die young? Or did it mean that somewhere out there, the 

second half of this couple was hopefully searching for a bashert 

who was dead? 

this excerpt is from p. 56 of The Outside World by Tova Mirvis. 

I really liked the book and I have read it more than once. It's 

funny actually that these few lines have to do with something 

i've previously written about- like bashert and height, etc. a total 

"accident" (nothing is really an accident; everything is planned 

by Him). Hope you found it interesting!

next meme coming soon!

Miracles & Appreciation

chanukah is a time of miracles. it's also a time of appreciation. we thank Hashem for the miracles He performed at that time and for all He does until today.

i just heard of a family who i know of whose house burnt down! tonite- after candle lighting they left and came back to find their house completely gone. kids are traumatized. everyone's in shock.

my neighbor went to sloan-kettering memorial hospital today to visit a 23 year old who's sick. he is a baal teshuva who learned for a year in yeshiva, got married and then three months later was diagnosed and it's been downhill from then on. he can't even talk anymore it's so bad.

you can't take anything for granted anymore. life is precious. everyday things are miracles. it's a miracle i'm alive and well and healthy B"H and my family as well. B"H we have what we need, we have a house (unlike this family that is now HOMELESS). these things happen and put everything in perspective. it's like now i realize that little things shouldn't bother me cuz they're so NOT important. they're just "little things."

im so grateful i got to work ok today and didn't slip on the icy sidewalks.

im grateful i have a job.

im grateful for my family.

for my friends. for my neighbors.

im grateful that i afford to buy what i want. grateful i can go to israel.

im grateful i can get wake-up calls like these (though unfortunate they are) to realize how lucky i am to have what i have and be who i am.

ps. his tehillim name is reuven ben sara. please daven!

*UPDATE*

Baruch Dayan HaEmes- reuven ben sara was niftar this morning. May he be a mailitz yosher for all of us.

1000 and still counting...

guys- i can't believe i've hit 1000 hits in just 20 days! that's crazy! thanks for all the links and stuff. its so cool!

for a dvar torah about 1000, see israel chronicles's post: "1,000 hits and a bit of Torah" 

(i've taken the easy way out :)

what's the weather like up there?

is it wrong to want a boy who is taller than me? besides for the whole "shallow" "superficial" aspect of it, some say it makes you "look up to him" in more ways than one :)

am i being unrealistic? with the whole bashert thing (which i DO believe in): let's say my bashert is shorter than me and maybe i don't go out with him because of height issues?

Can't go into the details but...

You can't believe everything you hear.

Our parents have told us that millions of times. But do we really listen? We should. 

My friend almost had a shidduch pulled out from under her feet because of some sick rumors about the boy.  I can't go into any details but because of some person who decided that somehow the situation justified exaggeration or making up some "facts", she almost did not go out with this guy again even tho she really liked him.

you have to be so careful with things you say, especially when it comes to shidduchim. but in all areas as well. with shidduchim, people can say nasty things just because they don't like your parents, the school you went to, or because they're just plain jealous. make sure to get sources for everything you hear and don't believe something until it has been absolutely proven! it's not fair to either side. it wasn't fair to my friend. it wasn't fair to the boy. 

we're dealing with people's lives here.

i remember a few years ago, d'rav meir put on a play that was publicized by CCHF because it was about a girl who said lashon hara about another girl and it RUINED HER LIFE. i don't remember the story but it was really powerful.

1st nite of Chanukah!

Here's an excerpt from an article on aish.com by sara yocheved rigler, called "The Chanukah Question" i thought is interesting:

Chanukah is the holiday of standing up boldly for your beliefs, of not yielding an inch.
Chanukah commemorates the historical victory of the Maccabees over the Greeks. The Jewish rebellion started in the year 167 B.C.E., after a century of Greek cultural hegemony and increasing assimilation. In the village of Modiin, Greek forces commanded the Jews to make offerings to a pagan god. One submissive Jew complied. This so inflamed the elderly priest Mattathias that he sprang up, killed the servile Jew, and led his five sons and handful of followers into the hills for a protracted guerrilla war against the Greeks and their Hellenistic Jewish cohorts.
The message of Chanukah is: Hold onto your religious convictions, never submit to the assimilated majority, no matter how numerous or sophisticated they are, and fight for your ideals.
So which is the Jewish value: to yield or to resist?
The salient difference between the lights of Shabbat and the lights of Chanukah are their location. Shabbat candles are always lit inside the home. Chanukah candles should ideally be lit outside, by the entrance to the house. (This is how we still do it in Jerusalem.) Only when the Jews were exiled to the Diaspora did safety dictate moving the Chanukah lights inside, but even there they are to be kindled in a window where they can be seen from outside. The mitzvah of lighting the Chanukah candles is to publicize the miracle of the oil.
While the Shabbat candles illumine the private domain of the home, the Chanukah candles are a statement to the public domain.  
Similarly, the place for yielding is in the home, within the family. The place for standing up for one's convictions is the public realm.
Unfortunately, we often reverse the two: A Jewish college student who is afraid to stand up to his politically correct friends and defend Israel refuses to yield to his mother's entreaties to wear a tie to his grandparents' anniversary party. A Jewish woman who sits mutely during coffee break while her co-workers joke about "cheap Jews," finds her tongue and waxes eloquent in her self-defense when her husband asks her to put the kids to bed on time.
The place to stand up for your beliefs is the public realm. In the home, yield, yield, yield.
If you are chronically tardy, and your spouse likes to arrive everywhere 15 minutes early, yield. 
Ask yourself, "What is his/her reality?" and validate it. If you are a spendthrift and your spouse is frugal, yield. Ask yourself, "What is his/her reality?" and validate it. If your idea of a vacation is a five-star hotel, and your children want to vacation in the national parks, ask yourself, "What is their reality?" and validate it. Then decide what is best for the whole family. 
But in the public realm, when Judaism, Jews, or Israel are under attack, stand up and fight! That's the lesson of Chanukah.

Just something to think about on the first night of chanukah.

any thoughts?

finished, finit, gamarnu

I did it! Finished one out of two papers for school! Not exactly the way i like to spend motzai shabbos but you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. it's so hard to actually sit down and write but it wasn't so bad. i actually learned something new.

Shabbos was nice and realllllly quiet. i went to sleep at 7:30 PM and woke up at 10:40 AM!!! haven't slept that much in a while. prob won't get that much sleep this week cuz there's so much work to be done cuz we're finishing up the semester and then comes finals and then the well-deserved vacation which im really looking forward to. though im the type of person who, when im bored, wishes i had a lot to do, so im not complaining about being busy. i love it!

and hopefully because i'm gonna be so busy this week, i won't be eating a lot because, seriously i feel like i gained like ten pounds over the last week. but o yeah- i just realized it's gonna be chanukah so there goes my losing weight. lol. latkes, donuts and chocolate coins are not really conducive to dieting so i guess that'll have to be for next week! :D

So excited for Chanukah! It's one of my favorite yomim tovim cuz its just like real family time. all together lighting candles and singing. though i'm gonna miss my sis in sem- it'll be so weird without her but i've kinda gotten used to not having her around for the yomim tovim already (shhh... don't tell her...) 

we're planning on going to philly next weekend (sunday/monday) just for a change of scenary but i might not be able to go :( cuz i gotta work on monday. we'll see....

newayz, don't know how im gonna sleep tonite because of all my sleep last night. so wish me luck. and, o yeah- gotta wake up early tomorrow morning! yay! NOT

YU CONCERT!!!!!

Im so curious.. did anybody go to the YU concert tonite? i couldn't make it but it sounded like it was gonna be ONE AWESOME CONCERT!! i absolutely love kuntsler and menucha and gabay (mostly) plus YBC (usually) and put together they = an amazing show. 

so can anyone tell me how was???

Dating in Israel

my friend suggested that my mom look into boys learning in israel so that when im in israel in january i can go out there.  im a little hesitant about that. there are pros and cons:

it might be nice to have a different type of atmosphere, different places to go, to see things together, etc. but then again, its israel, and my parents won't be able to meet him and let's say it does go past one, two, three dates, and then its time for me to go home. what happens then? he comes to America? I dont know. Its such a new concept to me- I don't know if i'd be more nervous to date from someone else's house or less nervous....

we'll have to see if anything is even shayach or if anyone says "yes" before i get there.

Favorite Song?

As a real music fan, it would be so interesting to know everyone's favorite song...

so pick your favorite song at this moment and post it (including artist and album name if you can)!

FYI: my FSN (SomethingDifferent-that's for you: my abbreviation which stands for... can you guess?) is Birchos Avicha by Dovid Gabay on his second album, Omar Dovid. for those not familiar with it, its a stunning song!!!! here's a link for it on mostlymusic just for a taste...

Naive?

K- so in school today was talking to two girls who are younger than me and one was just redt her first shidduch and she was nervous about how the first phone call works and what to talk about and what happens on first date, etc etc. I tried to give her some advice but you know, up until i went on my first date about 4 months ago, i had no clue what to do or what to say or what to expect. so its not like im the best person to give her advice because i don't have that much experience. but it was interesting to see what  I was like before i went out on my first date. probably so naive just like these girls, who've never gone out before. it was just interesting to see myself from a different perspective, just like frum college girl observed what she was like in HS in her post yesterday.

it would be so cool to have an out-of-body experience and observe myself from the outside. that's probably sorta what it's like to have an identical twin, no?

The Media

I am absolutely disgusted with media in the United States. Particularly SNL (Saturday Night Live). No, i don't have tv or watch tv but i saw an article about a recent episode they had about Governor Paterson of NY.  For those of you who don't know, he's legally blind and he took over office when Gov. Spitzer left. This tv show mocked him and portrayed him as incapable of acting as governor due to his disability. I find this so revolting that people could make fun of someone just because of a disablity, whether it be blindness, deafness, paralysis, etc. It is so unbelievable that people are on a level to do such a thing! Just because Sarah Palin is out of the media's eye right now doesn't mean that gives anyone the right to pick on any other person for lack of a story for a tv show! It's just a proof that people are cruel!

Gov. Paterson's reaction to this was:

"This particular Saturday Night Live skit unfortunately chose to ridicule people with physical disabilities and imply that disabled people are incapable of having jobs with serious responsibilities."

What a world! It's SICK. 

I'm sorry- I just couldn't not comment. Though i'm totally not a politics person at all, this just has to do with humanity (or lack of it.)

Israel!!

Israel, here I come!! I am super excited because i just booked my ticket for winter vacation! 

OMG i can't wait!! my sister is in sem and i can't wait to see her and just have an awesome vacation!

Any bloggers going?

my paper

my paper for school that was non-existant five hours ago, is now in existance. just not finished quite yet. but still an accomplishment nonetheless.

just a funny quote i heard from my friend's husband today:

"when your kids were little you could eat them up and when they got older you wished you had"

The Mall.

Just a few random thoughts spurred on by my trip to the mall tonite...

1. Everybody know about me that im a big music person. i love to listen to music, sing and all that stuff. i can listen to a song once and almost know it and keep singing it for days. this is all good until the holiday season comes around. stores are full of the holiday music playing 24/7! i'll be in a store shopping and walk out with "jingle bells" or "its xmas time in the city" playing and replaying itself in mind head. not that i actually want to be singing these songs- to the contrary! but they get stuck in my head. argggggg...

2. in bloomingdales i hear this woman calling to her son whom she named...... messiah! how crazy is that? i was tempted to ask her why? does she actually think her son is The Messiah??

last week a girl in my class was reading the newspaper and there was an article about celebrities' baby names and how some are really crazy. here are just a few for your entertainment:

Audio Science

Brooklyn

Camera

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Hopper

Ireland

Jazz Domino

Liberty

Luna Coco Patricia

Moon Unit

Ocean

Pilot Inspektor

Sage Moonblood

Seven Sirium

Satchel

Honestly, why would you name your kid something that would cause him/her to be made fun for the rest of his/her life??? i don't get it at all. i think these people just see the kid as an "it" like who cares what we name "it." its pathetic. really. crazy. this world as gone crazy.

homework

for some reason i have this crazy thing about school work: either i do it wayyyyy in advance or i cram. now why should that make any sense?? :)p

i have two reports due in the next two weeks and i haven't started either one plus ive got some projects to do for some classes and a bunch of other non-school work that's been on my "to do" list since after sukkos! really not fun! i can't get myself to sit down and do it; it's so hard...

im really not a procrastinator by nature but there are some things i just can't get myself to do. im one of those people who can get things done- and get them done FAST. but i guess i could write the paper all in one night so why bother doing it in advance? 

so i think i'll go to the mall tonite.... lol

shallow?

shal⋅low

   (adjective)

1. of little depth; not deep: shallow water.

2. lacking depth; superficial: a mind that is not narrow but shallow.

of course there are other definitons but these pertain to the discussion...

now who defines a person as being shallow? 

inspiration

my sister wrote this poem called "Holding On" a few years back:

I'm inspired.

The speaker spoke

Of her journey to

Becoming frum.

She changed her life:

Maybe I can too in my 

Own small ways.

"Her clothes were so ugly,"

They're saying.

"She kept moving her

Hands as she spoke.

I was inspired.

Doubts creep into my mind

And cloud my thoughts of

Growth and self-improvement.

They trample the speech with

Their words.

They trample my inspiration.

I try to push away their words

And my doubts.

But it's hard to hold on to 

Inspiration.

It happens to me all the time. I get inspired and it doesn't last. 

When i was in high school, we read an article in class about inspiration and how to make it last. You have to make something concrete to remind you of it so you can hold onto it forever. 

But its so hard. 

There's this woman i know who's suffering from breast cancer (a mother of two little girls) and they've been thru so much, even before this happened. She just had surgery last week. I was asked to help out a little bit so i volunteered to go friday mornings at 7 am. i came back about an hour ago from there. i came back inspired. life is so short- gotta make the people you love important to you and do the right things. but now, even an hour later, its gone (well, almost).  and i don't want to let it go.

No Patience!!!

I hate it!!! shidduchim take forever.

even if someone told me that they redt me a boy and then they have to hear back from him, it could be months until i actually hear something back - and usually i don't hear anything from them! its really frustrating. like this girl told me that she has a guy for me so i sent her my resume and its been like a month and i haven't hear anything. i hate the stupid lists that guys have- or really, their mothers have... its crazy. honestly, there must be a better way. 

everything just takes the longest time. and then i get my hopes up and nothing comes out of it. my mom's friends have this habit of asking us first if we're interested before they even get a yes from the boy's side and then i may not even find out if they're interested or not.

im sure people have ideas of how to better the system. wanna share?

Friends

I truly feel lucky. I've got two amazing friends who I'm in college with and we're in all the same classes, we sit together at lunch, and drive to school together. It's so great being able to have them there everyday. I wouldn't be able to go thru school without their smiles and laughs and comments.  we sit together at lunch and just people-watch, while we silently eat our lunches- its cute; we don't even talk. but i guess we're together so often there's not much to say. Guys- ur the best! So lucky to have you in school with me! but N- we'll miss you next semester, traitor!!! :)

My epiphany... listen up!

I had an epiphany last week that i think is amazing! Here goes...

If you wake up in the morning and you decide "Today is gonna be a great day," then it will!

It's true. I decided to do that like a week ago, one morning, and I had the best day ever. (happens to be it was my birthday- so who knows, maybe it was cause of that but seriously...)

I gotta try it again tomorrow. this morning was horrible but then got better. i need tom to be a great day. so how about giving it a try? its worth it :)

Too Short!

Shabbos was great but soooo short! a friend came over with her husband and baby for seuda shlishit. it was so nice. but then before you know it- shabbos is over. and motzai shabbos is so long and there's like hardly anything to do in this town of mine. nothing happening...

what do you usually do on motzai shabbos? besides for occasional vorts or shopping sprees :) there's nothing to do! :( its kinda depressing...

First Post

Wow! this is fun. starting a blog. i've been wanting to for a while.

so just for some background info: im a 20 year old girl in college and "in the parsha." basically that's what this blog will revolve around and hopefully be interesting.  ive only gone out with three guys so far. last nite was guy #3. he was a nice guy but i was not really attracted at all and i didn't think it would be worth it to go out again because i didn't see it going anywhere.  so this morning when the shadchan called my mother said "no." 

now my question is: last night, as soon as i saw him, i knew that i didn't want to go out again. so of course we still had a good time on the date and i talked to him and everything but i hope i didn't lead him on to think i was having a good time and wanted to go out again when i really didn't! that wouldn't be fair to him and we would both have had a horrible time if i didn't talk and try to make it comfortable. so was that the right thing to do? plus- i feel bad because the shadchan called this afternoon asking me to reconsider and go out with him again because he really wanted to go out again. i'm flattered but i know it's not gonna go anywhere. i'm not attracted. am i being fair? realistic? of course i want a good looking husband! (not that this guy was overly ugly; just not my taste)

i feel bad. i don't know why. i know i made the right decision for myself. but he's really disappointed. how do i reconcile this?

what do you think about attraction on a first or second date? does it come with time or should that be something to consider on the first date??