so just for some background info: im a 20 year old girl in college and "in the parsha." basically that's what this blog will revolve around and hopefully be interesting. ive only gone out with three guys so far. last nite was guy #3. he was a nice guy but i was not really attracted at all and i didn't think it would be worth it to go out again because i didn't see it going anywhere. so this morning when the shadchan called my mother said "no."
now my question is: last night, as soon as i saw him, i knew that i didn't want to go out again. so of course we still had a good time on the date and i talked to him and everything but i hope i didn't lead him on to think i was having a good time and wanted to go out again when i really didn't! that wouldn't be fair to him and we would both have had a horrible time if i didn't talk and try to make it comfortable. so was that the right thing to do? plus- i feel bad because the shadchan called this afternoon asking me to reconsider and go out with him again because he really wanted to go out again. i'm flattered but i know it's not gonna go anywhere. i'm not attracted. am i being fair? realistic? of course i want a good looking husband! (not that this guy was overly ugly; just not my taste)
i feel bad. i don't know why. i know i made the right decision for myself. but he's really disappointed. how do i reconcile this?
what do you think about attraction on a first or second date? does it come with time or should that be something to consider on the first date??